|Little Matty 2007 - age 3 - |
Back when seeking answers and
diagnoses felt like a full time job.
Autism - the word that frightened me to my core when I first learned that it was a piece of Matthew's puzzle many years ago.
Autism - showed up like a punishment, a heartbreak.
Autism - has meant years of midnight Google searches - seeking answers while discovering more questions.
Autism - has meant learning odd terms like "disregulation" and "perseveration" and "assistive technology" - and how these words relate to Matthew.
Autism – has meant feeling grief in my heart when I watch what boys Matthew’s age can do on their own.
Autism - means having hope - advocating for better and more specialized services at school, becoming Matthew's best advocate.
Autism - means gratitude for the teachers and specialists in Matthew's life who have taught me to understand my own son in new ways.
Autism - means finding joy in the little things in life while viewing the world through Matthew's twinkling eyes and bright smile.
Autism - The word that now makes me proud. I am proud to be an Autism Mom. Proud of Matthew for the progress he is making. Proud of myself for never giving up on him. Even on the most challenging days.
It's Autism. It's fear, it's sleep-deprivation, it's heartbreaking, it's confusing - but it's also hope, love, bright smiles and our life.
|Matty today, age 13.5|